What a week!

A plane load of people cheated almost certain death thanks to the exceptional skill of their pilot.  America welcomed a new President and a new era of hope.  Both of these events so BIG that people will always remember where they were when….

I had my surgery 5 days ago now.  They removed the lump and did the axillary dissection (the most painful part I have to say).  I have a meeting with the docs to discuss the pathology next week but according to the surgeon the lump was a bit bigger than the ultrasound depicted and he wasn’t happy with how it was tracking up to the sentinel node.  I’m home (never did get my pedicure and glass of wine in hospital!) but being visited by home care nurses every day for the next week or so.  Because of the axillary dissection, its going to be a bit longer before I can return to work…I’m attached to a drain coming out of my underarm for another few days.

It’s all still quite a surreal feeling.  I’ve had a few moments where I’ve begun to realise this is actually happening.  In general I’m ok and as the doctor says, it’s all still treatable / curable but the treatments are going to be more intense than first thought.  Chemo is a certainty and the details will be discussed next week.  This may mean some months off work.  Luckily I have insurance cover that will pay my salary while I am not able to work.

The hardest part of all this is allowing other people to look after me.  I have no probem with letting the nurses do their thing.  But I’m struggling with letting my family and friends do things for me that I feel are simple and I should be able to do myself.  Yesterday I asked my mother to change my bedsheets when I realised there was no chance I was going to be able to do it myself.  Of course she was happy to do so but it felt weird asking.  My best friend has been wonderful and she seems to get a kick out of mothering me so as much as possible I’m letting her.

Looking forward to a visit today from some work-girlfriends who always make me laugh.  Perhaps I’ll have that glass of wine after all!

R xo