Going to the endocronologist is a little bit like a highbrow game of bingo, and there are only a handful of numbers being played for. But if you get those numbers right then you win….something. Warm fuzzies? It’s funny too how you feel like you, the individual are responsible for achieving certain number, as if you had complete control over your physiology. If the numbers are good, you feel like you’ve achieved something. If they’re not right, you somehow feel like you didn’t work hard enough to get them right. The whole problem of course, of having an auto immune disease is that…you have no control. You wouldn’t sit around with a drip adding poisonous toxins into your own blood stream, or at least a sane person wouldn’t. But essentially thats what Graves is. And the evil genius behind it all are those pesky antibodies. The endo said to me ” I was a bit worried about you because your body wasn’t reacting the way it’s supposed to”. No kidding! But then I’ve always been a little…left of centre.
Finally my T3 is within normal. It’s at the upper end of normal but still….normal. The doc said it might take a month or so for my symptoms to catch up (I still have the odd heart palpitation , breathlessness, muscle weakness etc). She said within a few weeks I should start to find exercise somewhat easier so once I start my new job (next week) I’m going to get a trainer who can help me, especially with strength training. It’s hard to explain how weak I’ve become. I’m as ‘plushy’ as a foam sofa to use a funny phrase from a friend of mine. I used to be one of those people who did boot camps and could happily ‘drop and give me 20 man style push ups (at 8am on Saturday mornings…crazy right?!)…but not any more. Opening jam jars is hard enough! It’ll be tough but I know I feel better when I’m stronger and exercising regularly.
Meds have been reduced from 5 down to 2 carbimazole per day and I’ll stay on that regimen until October when I’ll have my next blood test and consultation (and pending those results, another in January). Apparently they’ll then review me in April next year (12 months into this journey) to see where my antibodies are at and what my chances of still having the disease are, along with potential for relapse (a 50%+ chance).
When I see the relapse numbers there’s a part of me that feels like I’m on a long journey towards a thyroidectomy ( as has my grandmother, my mother and two aunts) but I’m trying to stay positive that I might be the one for whom this rigmarole all works and I can remain surgery free!
