The other shoe drops

I’ve been feeling better this week, a lot better. I’m still having one cup of tea in the mornings but the strong, long cappucinos are on hold. I’m not missing alcohol at all and I thought I would. Tonight I was at a work function and on the way home I thought about how much better I feel without that slightly ill, dizzy, tipsy feeling. So thats all good and I’m glad.

But now the focus goes elsewhere. I thought I was having a bad week on Saturday when the nice Japanese lady drove her car into and nearly through my passenger car door. Ok…it’s just a car and I can take the bus for a few weeks while they fix it. But yesterday my other sister confirmed her fears that the cancer she’s been battling for the past three years, is back. Shit. So despite the disfiguring surgery and the stomach churning chemo, the cancer is back. Double shit. They’re planning surgery for her late next week. More scars, but hopefully this tumour will also be self contained. And then what?

Caffeine withdrawal is for sissies

I was dreading this part…giving up caffeine. Many years ago I attended a detox ‘retreat’ and my caffeine withdrawal was so bad I wanted to murder someone. I never did go back up to my caffeine drinking heights so this time around I’m not feeling soooo bad. Yesterday I made it through with only one weak cappucino and got a little bit headachy later in the afternoon…but survived. Today I had a cup of tea and a really weak instant coffee and didn’t miss a hot drink the afternoon. And today I probably felt better than I have in a very long time. I even made lists of tasks at work…and crossed some off. I wonder if the increased dose of carbimazole has kicked in already?

Looking forward to crossing work off but trying not to make rash / graves generated decisions. Caught up with my old boss and he helped me see a way forward and it highlighted to me how I’ve let my confidence break over this disease and trying to keep everyone else happy. I’m biding my time….