Still breathing…

Three months has gone by so quickly since I wrote my last post.  It seems years since I was struggling under the weight (pun intended!) of Graves.  Since my cancer diagnosis it’s been all about that.  I’ve had some blood tests that show my TSH is ‘normal’ but antibodies are still active.  Thats more than a year on.  The best advice I’ve been given is that sometime after chemo finishes (late June) they’ll get back to my Graves and see what needs to be done.  Right now…I want my thryoid out.  I’d be much happier managing with thyroxine everyday than the rollercoaster it’s led me on.  Come July….rack me up and rip it out!  I wish I’d been more assertive on that a year ago.  My mind is made up pending a doctor agreeing.  Coincidentally, my eminent breast surgeon is also an eminent thryoid surgeon so I’m sure I’ll get him on side!

Meanwhile, I’ve got 4 chemo cycles with 2 to go.  I’ve not been able to work much due to intense reaction to the drugs and side effects.  Work has been amazingly supportive.  Their stance has been..come back when you’re ready.  Hopefully, that’ll be sometime in July assuming I get the all clear from genetic testing which means I’ll proceed to radiotherapy and after that (cross fingers) ‘the all clear’  and back into a normal life.  As normal as I can live life anyway!

Meanwhile, life goes on.  Good and bad things happen.  I probably won’t come back here much to post but will leave it here for a while as hopefully new Graves sufferers will use this diary as a resource as to what they might expect (
hopefully without the cancer part at the end of it!).

R xo

“Triple Negative” nicely sums up the past 12 months

I should have known.  I can’t even get ‘normal’ breast cancer! 

I’ve been telling this story so much lately it’s almost unbelieveable you haven’t already heard?  Well, in case you haven’t….

The pathology of my cancer had some problems.  It’s triple negative and there was some lymph vascular invasion.  On an aggression scale of 1-9, my tumour was a 9 (Grade 3).  I won’t go into all the details of everything here as there’s plenty of info on the web if you’re interested.  I had to go back for a second surgery so they could clean up the ‘dirty margins’ that could only be seen with the pathology.  I’m still sore and bruised.

The upshot is…I start chemo in the first week of March and I am opting into a trial which will take 12 months to complete.  I’ve taken up to 6 months unpaid leave from work.  I have to say my boss and colleagues been very supportive which confirms I made the right move leaving the previous place where I was so miserable.

I asked the Oncologist about how the chemo will ’sit’ with my Graves.  She told me she’s had other patients where the chemo has pulled them out of Graves remission.  Before I start I have to have a raft of blood tests including TSH, T3, T4 and antibodies and my onco and endo will talk.  Apparently there’ll be times I won’t know if I’m suffering side effects from chemo, Graves symptoms, or menopause (which I am told I can expect to kick in during treatment).  Delightful!

Meanwhile, my weight continues to explode!  I know it seems silly to be thinking about that at a time like this but I don’t feel like me.  I’m going to lose my hair and I’m convinced I am going to look like a big ol’ waxy potato!  I don’t think I can do the wig thing.  Any suggestions for head covering and especially makeup tricks (I’m going to lose my eyelashes and eyebrows too) gratefully received.  

Fab to know despite everything, vanity is my most prominent characteristic!

Alcohol is the devil

I succumbed to peer pressure last night and had maybe three glasses of wine. Thats a lot less than I would normally drink on a typical Friday night work related binge but I’m certainly feeling the after effects. Woke early and have no change of going back to sleep. Of course I forgot to take my neomercazole last night too. I thought a glass of wine at the end of a long and emotional week would be just the ticket. Funny then how this mornng I just feel kind of ….blech!

The theme for the coming week is ‘tests’. My sister has more tests and is facing surgery as soon as possible to remove the suspicious lesion. My next blood test has to be taken by end of the week. And I’ve been asked to take on online test to show aptitude etc. Sort of a psych evaluation (yeah, good freakin’ luck!) as part of my job application to a big, big company.

I find that kind of bizarre and interesting all at the same time. And I really want the job. The role is great, pay and conditions are good….but best of all, it’s based less than ten minutes from my new apartment and work hours are 8.30-4.30 AND you can work from home one day a week. Sweet! Obviously being able to get a bit of that elusive work/life balance happening would only help my Grave’s recovery. Wish me luck!